As usual, I arrived early in my campus. Today is the same as any other day. I went through the same road and I reached my faculty. As I walked through places by places. I suddenly remembered.. The first times I saw that place, a “garden” in the middle at my faculty, about one year 8 months ago. That same place, that same aura, but a surprisedly very different feeling. Back then, I felt excited, I felt unfamiliar, I felt joyful. Now, I felt just so-so, another familiar place.
As I remembered, a lot of things has happened. I still can remember clearly, what happened in that place. Things happened in 2014 was so much clearer than in 2015. I wonder why, is it because I still had that “feeling”. I wonder where that “feeling” went. Am I the one who have been sensitized by things happened here?
I can’t say I understand fully, I am learning about what happened to me as a person right now in my studies. It’s very intriguing, how a human ‘works’. I really want to look inside myself right now and see what happened there, in my mind, my deepest mind.
It’s also scary when I think about it. But hey, writing this made me a bit relieved. Again, what made me feel relieved? This kind of thinking, when will it be satisfied?